Response Not Reaction
I am excited to announce the coming release of the second edition of Learning To Feel. Learning to feel (the theme of the book) provides access to an advanced level of interpersonal skills and one of the reasons why I wrote the book. Most of the people we meet experience and interact with the world and each other at a superficial level. It is only at the deeper inner and true self that we actually form a relationship with another human. It is only on the inner level where we discover the themes of human beauty and frailty—our own and others’. On the surface of the container, on the egoic level, all we ever do is relate to others. I call this “relatedness” not relationship. Most of us are skilled at relatedness, but I dare say that few really risk relationship because it requires an exposure of the inner self.
Our ego experiences events as singular and unrelated to our having been the source of it. I am not suggesting that we are so powerful that we cause everything and all events in the world. That is just nonsense. What I am saying, however, is that our perception of things is what has us see things, people and events from a certain point of view. And our egos are the source of that meaning-making. The ego finds meaning only in terms of its own world view—thumbs up if we like it or dismissal if we don't. I call it yum/yuck decision making. It is the world of postmodernism and of the rise of fundamental literalism. No wonder we live mostly in a related level only. Connection at that vulnerable deeper level is scary and risky as I said.
Learning To Feel is a book that challenges us to dig deeper into why we feel and experience things the way we do. Instead of walking through
the world of experiences, evaluating them as good/bad, for me or against me, or yum/yuck, we discover the source of our need to evaluate everything. If and when we are able to get beneath the surface of our judgments, we get to a level of choice. We are able to choose our response over our knee-jerk reaction.
If you are hungry to learn how to improve your response and stop being a reaction machine, I invite you to order your copy of Learning To Feel, 2nd edition, available for pre-order here and available online on May first.